Preparations, Or, Why Going to Rwanda is Already Not At All What I Thought it Would Be

Part I.

I'll bet you know someone who's been to Rwanda.

When we began this process, I thought I had picked just about the most obscure place in the world to go.  Today--for the first time, mind you--I had the experience I expected to have dozens of times, when I called my credit card company to tell them I was going to an obscure foreign country and to please please please not think my card was stolen and shut it down:

Super Helpful and Cheery Credit Card Security Customer Service Representative: "Where are you going?"

Me: "Rwanda."

SHCCCSCSR: "Oh, wow, that sounds great!"

Me: "It's certainly going to be an adventure."

SHCCCSCSR: "I'll say.  Now, remind me-- where is Rwanda again?"

Exactly.  I thought I would have to explain to everyone I talked to where Rwanda was.  Instead, here are actual transcripts of actual conversations (1) I've actually had over the last few weeks:

SCENE ONE 
(The last advisory meeting of the year.  The kids are comparing their summer plans over Cheez-Its and and Fruit Tea, and for once, I think I might get to trump these rich kids.)  

Me: (outwardly) "I'm going to Rwanda."  (inside my head: "Boom!")

My 17-year-old Advisee: "That's weird.  My uncle goes there all the time.  He just got back.  You should talk to him."

SCENE TWO
(My sister is out with her friends, closing down an exclusive New York bistro.  Empty bottles of extravagant wine litter the table alongside half-eaten desserts.) 

My Sister: "My brother's going to Rwanda!"


My Sister's Friend: "That's weird.  My father worked for the International Criminal Tribunal in Rwanda prosecuting perpetrators.  He should talk to him."

SCENE THREE 
(Visiting the extended family.  A Bon Voyage party for Ellen's college-aged cousin, who is about to bike across the country.  Eaten a nauseating amount of Boursin covered Wheat Thins.) 

Me: (crunch) "We're going to Rwanda this summer."


College-Aged Friend of College-Aged Cousin: "That's weird. (2)  I spent last summer in Rwanda teaching English.  You should talk to me."

You get the point.  Apparently we are far from starting a trend.

Part II.

You're supposed to bring gifts to Rwanda.

Iffy, at best.

Especially when you're trying to do what we're trying to do, which is learn about an unspeakably painful and tragic part of people's lives directly from the ones who are still living with it daily.  That understandably deserves a small token of appreciation.  So what do you get the Rwandan who has everything nothing I have no idea what they have?  We've heard ideas ranging from phone minutes to pencils to keychains to USB drives to t-shirts with American stuff on them.  Since we're both teachers with tremendous fealty for our respective institutions, we thought some good swag from our schools would make good gifts.  Things that are obviously American are highly valued, we've heard.   Both of our schools generously donated some t-shirts to that end.  After getting them home and really looking at them, though, we concluded that some of them just didn't quite deliver the message we want to send.

So instead we're going with some modern NashVegas Country Music-- it is empirically undeniable that nothing says "thank you for sharing the story of the most horrific experience of your life or anyone else's" like a little Taylor Swift. (3)  God bless us, everyone.

Notes:
(1) These are not actual transcriptions of actual conversations.  But they're close enough and they all really happened, at least in my mind.
(2) Ok, so only my student actually said "that's weird."  But if you teach teenagers long enough, everyone starts to sound like a teenager in your head.
(3) Go ahead and try to deny it.  You can't.